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Et Tu Brutus ?

The wealthy Senators didn’t like what Caesar had done. He crossed the Rubicon, after telling them he wouldn’t. The Senators had believed him. He told everyone he only wanted to be dictator. He never explained the He kept the borders safe by giving the savages beer and killing a few of them from time to time. Caesar wouldn’t touch the beer. He’d drink from a privy first. Hell, this might be where his brew-masters got their water from. Maybe it’s where they get his water. They drank what they brewed so long, the had no taste buds any longer. This is where the term “Don’t drink the water came from.”

  He was walking in the garden with Brutus, his best friend and his confidant. Brutus was the only man in Rome he trusted. Caesar didn’t get to where he was by not knowing who to trust and who not to trust. He trusted himself and Brutus. That was an error. He knew the Roman Senate was full of fools. They were rich and fancy. Their wives were beautiful and easy to bed. He knew they hated him for declaring himself as dictator. The Senate was furious when they discovered it was Caesar making all the rules. They hated him for taking their power away. He made them into a debate club. He generally ignored them. Occasionally, Caesar would parade his Legions around Rome to remind the Senate who was who in Rome, and what was was. He had to keep them inline.They were a bunch of sissy boys, but you couldnt trust that.

  The Senate leaders decided to kill him. They weren’t going to do it. Caesar might escape. Then Zeus would be pleased. Zeus was always a front runner. It couldn’t be some street bum. Caesar would laugh at that and then get the Senator’s. They eventually settled on Brutus. Though being close to Caesar, which was necessary, he was greedy. A bribe would let Brutus live as he wanted to. He wanted a lot. He knew the bribe had to be big enough for him to get as far away from Rome as he could. He agreed to stab Caesar on the Ides of March. Caesar wouldn’t expect it then. He might, though. Then he’d kill all of them.

  “He wouldn’t expect it at all. He thinks you’re a suck-ass. He would laugh out loud to think you would try that. He thinks you wouldn’t have the balls to do anything like that. We’re not that sure ourselves. But we are going to give it shot. If you can’t get it done, we’ll have have you killed too. It would be a two for one job.”

  Brutus was an ass-kisser. He lived a rich life as long as Caesar lived or he got a lot of money and Caesar left him his estate. There was a better chance of that than the plot these idiots had in mind. Tell Caesar about the plot and get an estate as a reward. He used that to drive up the price. They said they would tell Caesar of Brutus’ plan and Brutus would lose his head. They would be free to look elsewhere. Things were getting be confusing.

  Finally Brutus agreed to to take Caesar out. He sneaking up on him and stabbed him time and time again. Caesar looked at Brutus with surprise. Caesar had made a mistake. He looked at Brutus and said,”Et tu, Brutus?”

  “Well, I’m the one holding the knife.”

  Caesar was moaning. He told Brutus he was standing on his back and he was having trouble breathing.

  “Brutus, I’m having trouble breathing. You’ve gained a few pounds. Probably from drinking that horrible beer. I’m having trouble breathing.”

  “You think I’ve become a little chubby? That hurts, man.”

  The Senators were feeling pretty good until then.

  “Since when did dead men moan?”

  “Maybe he’s really a god.”

“Oh, crap, we’d be in real trouble then. But, if he was a god, wouldn’t he have temples and some priests and high priests and maybe some young girls dancing around- and getting drunk on the good stuff, instead of this weak watery wine. His legions hear about this, what do you think they are going to do?”

  Another Senator, Galdius Aridus, told Brutus he was hired to kill Caesar. Brutus s told him they hired him to stab Caesar. He did that 23 times. He didn’t charge them for doing that. Caesar being dead, alive or a god was between them and Caesar. He was going on a long trip. He hadn’t been to Hispania for a while. Thinking about that made him, he wondered if it was far enough if Caesar didn’t die. He knew that he would die as soon as he was found. Some former legionnaire could see and that would be that.

  The Senators decided to come up with a good story. It was the only choice except what Brutus was going to do now because the killing had failed. Brutus made it clear they weren’t going with him. They weren’t know where he was going. He knew they’d turn on them, if he didn’t die. Caesar wasn’t known to be a savage, but trying to kill him might change they way he thought.

  Caesars legions went through Rome with no mercy. They killed as many Senators as they could. They drank all the good wine and stole all the robes they came across. They had a great time.

  Then Darius, Caesars’ top commander, got them thinking about what destroying Rome meant. “We take it all now, what after that? No pay, no looting the savages, not anything. That includes the virgin woman, or men if you wanted too., Time to get up the borders and act as if nothing happened. The people are stupid. We have to start Emperor government owned by us. We’ll sell it to the highest bidder. Slick, right”

  It sounded slick right up to when Octavian took control. He was Caesars’ great-nephew, adopted son and heir. And who knows what else. Hard to beat that. He sent the legions to Britannia. They never came back.

  Now, that was slick as slick can be.

  “Yea, ET tu to you.”

It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience. Julius Caesar

Experience is the teacher of all things. Julius Caesar

I came, I saw, I conquered. Julius Caesar

The die is cast. Julius Caesar

Which death is preferably to every other? 'The unexpected'. Julius Caesar

Men willingly believe what they wish. Julius Caesar

Caesar's wife must be above suspicion. Julius Caesar

Men are nearly always willing to believe what they wish. Julius Caesar