Gold

Jimmy, Carl, and Dennis were standing in front of an old mine. It was only 1200 feet deep. The company hadn’t found what they were looking for and abandoned it. Dennis thought they had given up too easily. Jimmy and Carl had serious doubts about that.

“Man, I dug a few feet deeper and found this.” He showed them a golden nugget. “It’s gold, man,”

“How do you know that?” Jimmy asked.

“Well, you know how in the movies they bite down to see if it’s gold or pyrite? Well, I thought we’d put it to the test.”

“How does that work?” Carl asked.

Dennis said, “Well, you bite on it, that’s how.”

“Okay, did you?” asked Jimmy.

“Well, I don’t rightly know if soft is gold or pyrite. I can’t do it anyways ‘cause of my teeth. I ain’t got that many to spare.”

Dennis came up with a lot of ideas, Most of them were screwy and some were impossible. That never hit home with him. His mother thought he lacked any sense. Of course, his daddy didn’t either so that meant she was as bad as they were. He was placed in the "special class.”

Carl said, “But you want us to bite down on what might be gold and might be pyrite? You want us to, possibly lose a tooth when you don’t even know what it would be?”

“Well, I didn’t think of that.”

“I guess you didn’t,” Carl said.

“Well, I don’t think it’s gold. I think it’s too good to be true. What we could do is take it to a jeweler. I’d think they’d know,” Jommy said.

“Dennis said, “Yeah but we’d know we found a mine. We need an assayer guy. ”

“And not think we found a mine?”

Dennis said, “Well, sure but they’d not know where. If we get followed we’d take him on a wild- goose chase.”

Jimmy said, “Yea, be better odds of him going on the Mars Expedition. You know that. Someone owns this property. Do you think you could fool them? Why they’d have us tell them or they’d send some goons to ‘talk’ to us. They’d whomp us for sport.”

Dennis said,“ Maybe if we only worked at night they wouldn’t notice.”

“Work in the dark. That’s your plan? Them not noticing activity going on here?”

Carl sent Dennis into the mine to see if he could find more nuggets, “Man, we don’t want one of those seldom mines. You know, where only a couple of nuggets. Don’t want to waste our time. Okay?”

“Oh, sure Carl.”

Carl then took Jimmy aside. “Ain’t gonna hurt none to have him take a look.”

“Jeez, Carl, his lights are dim. You know he’s flopped every time. Why would this time be any different?”

“It all worked out until high school. Then guys started picking on him. Carl walked up to the biggest one and knocked him off his feet.”

“Yeah, I remember. There were about 20 of them and one of me to cover your ass. I had 20-1 odds against me. You were even.”

“Sure, but it worked out okay.”

“Yeah after a lot of fighting and me getting my ass kicked. I remember that.”

Dennis came out and showed a nugget to Carl and Jimmy. At first, they glanced at it and were going to tell Dennis the mine would have more than 1 nugget. Dennis said he found more but they didn’t look like this one. Jimmy and Carl ran into the mine. They found a few loose pieces of gold or pyrite. Now, they got excited. Dennis may have found gold. They knew the owners would find out. They decided to take what they could carry and go far away to sell it.

They took it to an assayer. He said some of it was gold. He also asked where they found it. They weren’t about to tell him that. The assayer didn’t care. He wasn’t going half-cocked over a handful of gold. Those days were over. These guys might spend a lifetime believing they’d hit the mother lode. If there was any real gold where they found these pieces the mine would be reopened by the owner and these guys would stay away or be hurt.

Carl said, “At least we have some time before the owners find out.”

“They’ll know about it the day after we leave the assayer’s office.”

“Huh? He ain’t allowed to say anything.”

“What are you talking about? Jimmy asked. “He ain’t a priest or a doctor or a lawyer. He’ll call the owners as soon as we leave. That’s why we have to get as much as we can carry.”

Jimmy’s mother didn’t like Jimmy picking on the feeble

“Jimmy. I want you boys to stop picking on Dennis.”

“Maw, I have never picked on Dennis.”

“Well, you better stop. He can’t help being a bit feeble. Heck, neither his mother nor father are too bright. The fact is, they’re feeble too. That ain’t any kind of an excuse to pick on their boy. So, promise me won’t anymore.”

“Okay maw, I won’t.”

“Tell that no-account Carl to stop too.”

“Okay, maw.”

They went to a lawyer they knew from high school. They told him the whole story and asked if there was anything wrong with their idea. “Well, for openers, you’d be trespassing; you’d be committing a felony offense for theft”

“What if we can’t find the owners,” Carl said.

The attorney looked at Carl very strangely. “Oh, you’d find the owners in court when they sue you for stealing their gold.”

Jimmy asked, “In other words, we’d be up shit creek.”

“No, you’ll be broke and possibly in prison. Then when you get out some large men will come and want what you took. They will add 100% to that and give you a week to pay up or they'd be back ”

“Oh.”

Dennis said after they left,“ Well how about if we for look for silver?”