Hero

Joe Bob stopped in at Marvin's Fast Stop for a hot dog when he saw the gun. He should have drawn his weapon and thenconfronted the robber. He didn't, and that led to his being a hero. The robber heard Joe Bob yell for him to drop his gun. The robber also saw Joe Bob hadn't drawn his. He said to the Deputy, "Well, I reckon not. I have my gun aimed at you, and your weapon is still holstered. I guess that me the one ordering people around. Funny thing,that”

Joe Bob saw that right away. He felt stupid for a moment. Then he noticed the robber had a water pistol, not a real gun. Joe Bob was back in control of the situation. He said, “Now, there's no need for anyone to get hurt here. Just put that gun down,”The robber shot Joe Bob in the face with pepper spray.

He turned to Marvin and told him to hand over the cash or he'd get the same. Marvin wasn't going to argue with that. As the robber was grabbing the cash, Joe Bob was stumbling around, feeling like he'd been set ablaze. While he stumbled, he also knocked the pepperspray gun out of the robber's hand. Marvin then knocked the robber out with a baseball bat. Marvin took a Babe Ruth swing. The robber went down and wasn't getting back up any too soon, If he did, he might be a vegetable, a rotted one.

“Joe Bob, that was the bravest thing I ever saw. You didn't have any way a knowing that it wasn't a real gun. Good Lord, you took a pretty big risk.”

Joe Bob wasn't really listening. He was trying to figure out a way to put the fire out. He knew he hadn't done anything, except get sprayed, but he was in no shape to argue with Marvin. He did think to tell Marvin to call 911 and get some backup here while he tried to keep from throwing up. Marvin worried about that too. Who was going to clean it up.? Joe Bob was blind. H'd hire some kid to do it but the kid would rob him blind. Hell, the first robber was enough.

“Joe Bob, you knocked the gun outta his hand and I cold-cocked him a good one. Why are you still hoppin' around like that? Ya look a little silly now. You don’t want to see the other Deputies seeing you doing that. Heroes don’t hop around like that.”

“Oh my God, I can't see! I'm blind and feel like I'm on fire!”

“Now, Joe Bob, there ain't no need to be using the Lord's name in vain. You've been to Sunday school. You keep that up and you are going to burn in Hell. Just ask the Reverend Black. He knows all about Hell. You jus' ask 'im. I don’t know how he knows so much about Hell, but he does. The robber ain't goin' nowhere any time soon except to the jail. That's if he lives or enen wake up”

Some Deputies arrived along with the Sheriff. All he heard was that a deputy had been shot. He was a little put out to find out it was pepper spray. And it was Joe Bob. He felt guilty for feeling that way, but it was the way he felt. Pepper spray and he got out of bed for that? They got the robber to jail after seeing he wasn’t dead and probably wouldn’t die here. They were trained paramedics but they handled this gut a bit roughly. No oned said anything about it.

One of the new deputies was reading the guy his rights. “You have the right to- have the right to an attorney; if you don't have one, or can't afford one-”

“Of course, he can't afford an attorney. Why do ya think he robs places for?. It's for money.”

The DA, Paulie Williams, charged him with armed robbery and assault on a police officer. Squire Davis was appointed to defend the guy. He and Paulie met for lunch. Paulie figured Squire would try to talk him down to attempted robbery and simple assault. Neither he or Squire wanted to go to trial. They both hated it.

“Squire, I know you want me to go with attempted robbery and simple assault, but I ain't going to. The Sheriff is mighty pissed about Joe Bob getting pepper-sprayed. He is all hot to have this guy do some real time. I got an election comin' up, and I don't need the Sheriff bad-mouthing me. Let the best thing happen. That guy ain't going to argue. He's still trying to figure out what happened.”

“I hear you. The guy really got clobbered by Marvin. He had to be sent over to the County Hospital. That took a while, and the guy felt like he had four heads. It's going to be a long time coming all the way back, if he does. Instead of attempted robbery, how about simple assault on Marvin? Marvin did get revenge but it doesn’t count.”

“Yeah,” he really laid that guy out. Paulie said, “The robber seemed okay for a while before he started throwing himself around. They say it was kind of scary. They gave him something that put him in a queit state.Okay, simple charge on the robbery. But, he has to go down on Joe Bob- for the assault. I mean, he has to go do some time for that. Joe Bob isn't much, but he's local and a Deputy Sheriff” “Okay, I can talk him into that, I think. Minimum time?” Paulie said. He might be not going to trial when he wakes up, and that’d be a miracle. “Okay. Let's hope Judge Hill goes along with it. He's up for re-election, too.”

“Then I'd say we need to get the Sheriff to go along with it.”

The Sheriff wanted no part of the deal. The term “Rot in Hell!” came up.

Paulie and Squire had another meeting. Paulie told Squire, “The Sheriff is holding my feet to the fire on this one. He figures the guy has to do some hard time for the assault on Joe Bob. He ain't much of a Deputy but he's still a Deputy.”

“Joe Bob. He doesn't care all that much about the robbery. He doesn't remember it all that much.”

“Okay. I'm planning to ask Melvin about the 'armed' part of the charge." The robbery. Seems like after Joe Bob got sprayed, it was pretty obvious the guy only had a water pistol. That isn't too much 'armed' around these parts.”

Paulie said,“Oh, I see you're putting on your 'good ole boy' act. Okay, I'll go with attempted robbery. Best I can do.”

“Now, I know the jury will be all up in arms over the assault charge. They are good, law-abiding people. They also like Joe Bob, even if they think he's cursed or spooked or not all there.”

The Sheriff refused to budge on the assault charge. “I don't care how much a fool Squire makes Joe Bob out to be, I ain't havin' one a my deputies whacked around.”

After the trial, Joe Bob was treated better for a while. Bobby Tasco finally had enough and told him, “Now, Joe Bob, ya listen to me. I'm an old man, and I know a few things. Ya keep on struttin' around like ya been and someone like Teech Boom is gonna test ya. Believe that.”

Teech Boom was the local bully. Not everyone was afraid of him, but Joe Bob was in the group that was. He talked it over with his wife, Janie. She listened to him. She knew he had a reputation for being something of a klutz. After listening to him, she told him, “Joe Bob, honey, ya had your moment in the sun. Now it's time to sit in the shade a bit. In other words, leave off the strutting and go back to being just plain old Joe Bob.”

That not only was not going to happen, but no one wanted to happen.