Hippity Hoppity Started Something

Hippity Hoppity Started Something

Hippity Hoppity was waiting for his dealer when an old, battered pickup drove by. Two dogs in the back barked loudly at him, sounding like a pack of wolves. For Hip pity, the dog's bark was more than just noise—it was a stark reminder of the past filled with hostility and prejudice. The noise startled Hip pity Hospitality so much that he almost jumped out of his skin. He thought he might have even lost control of his bowels. His anger was fueled by memories of times when simple provocations led to gross injustices against him. Furious, he decided he wasn’t going to let those dog let the cops to give him a hard time.. Three bullets hit the two men in the truck, making them crash into a pole and fly through the windshield. The EMT took them to Roper Hospital. The police later said the gunshot wounds were minor and the crash injuries were not serious. The shooter had already left before the police arrived. A witness said the shooter didn’t run but just walked away, looking calm. He also said he didn’t know who it was. He knew but would never tell them. He regretted even talking to them. He regretted being there.

Hippity Hoppity missed the dogs but got both the rednecks in the cab. Well, he got them in the head, actually. The gunshot wounds, after the doctors ,looking them over ,talked to them,.were considered inconsequential because they were head shots. The accident injuries were superficial since they were born looking that way. An onlooker might think the whole scene was straight out of a comedy sketch, with absurd happenings and unlikely characters straight from a satirical tale. The doctors, chuckling, said they’d love to see their DNA.

Hippity Hosppity figured the cops would blame him if they spotted him, since he was black and the guys he shot were rednecks. It’s always the black guy’s fault, always. The rednecks didn’t start it, and the dogs were allowed to bark at anyone they wanted to, especially if they wanted to bark at a black man. He left the scene. Let the cops blame him.

The Animal Control officers called the ASPCA to come and get the dogs. When the ASPCA got there, the Animal Control officers had decided they weren’t going to collar these two brutes. They asked the cops to get them. Two Wyatt Earp types said they they’d it and strutted over to the two dogs. Dogs don’t have what humans call creative powers. They can’t imagine. They can, however, leap for the soft underbelly. The first dog. Hey Dawg hit a little low and removed his treasures. The second dog hit high and removed one of her nipples. He ate the nipples but not the man’s “treasure.”

The police said that Hippity was to be considered “armed and dangerous.” Citizens should not attempt to apprehend him. They should notify the police. Not the Charleston Police, since they aren’t going near those bad boys.

Wentworth knew, just knew, Hippity Hoppity was the shooter. “Man, we got the bullets. I'm gonna frisk him every chance I get. He either has to get a new gun or I have him," Officer Revenal told Officer Wentworth. Wentworth rolled his eyes, thinking he’d like frisk her. His expression was a mix of disbelief and weariness. Ravenal wouldn't do any such thing. Officer Wentworth glanced sideways, his brow furrowed, his skepticism obvious.

“What are you looking at?? Hippity Hospity, that’s who. The guy’s stupid, really stupid. Ain’t gonna be no chump-change concealed weapon charge. He’s gonna do big time, this time.” Over at Roper Hospital, after the doctors found out that the two ER patients always looked like they did, the bullet wounds were minor; they were head shots. They shook their heads and thanked God they had better genes than that. “I’d like to see the genetic codes of those two. I’d bet even money it isn’t human,” one doc said.

The two victims, Riley and Harper Lee, were pissed off. They’d lost the truck and lost the dogs. Pappy was going to be raisin’ Hell with them for sure. “I’d like to find the idiot who shot us. He caused us to wreck Pappy’s truck and lose his dogs,” Riley said.

“We? I wasn’t doing’ no drivin’. Ah was doing some riding. Yeah, you're the one who wrecked the truck and lost those dogs. Pappy is going to skin ya fer that. Don’t go tryin’ a blame none a this awn me, ya hear?”

“We’re brothers. Brothers gotta stick together.”

“Pappy gonna take a big ole stick and whom ya hard, that’s what. Ain’t gittin’ my head whomped ‘cause ya wrecked his truck, brother”

“Ah was shot in the head! Ah, didn’t do it deliberately like”.

“Well, yeah, that's so. Pappy hittin’ you up alongside your head also be so. Ya head, not mine.” /p>

” At Roper Hospital, the doctors were trying to keep the now ball-less cop from adjusting his med drip to high. He didn’t want to leave the hospital alive. He had no reason to leave the hospital. None at all. The other officer was being attended to by a dozen doctors, all of whom were male and were trying to push their way to the front. It was a doctor saying to, “I can put a new ones on that no one could tell wasn’t real. I wouldn’t even charge her for it. I’d do it for, umm, community spirit,” one doc told her.

“I’d pay you to do it for the evidence,’ you know?’ one young surgeon upped the ante. A fellow officer of the victim arrested the doctor for solicitation. He knew what the doc meant, but this cop had a thing for her.

Forensics was there photographing her injury for possible evidence. Some of the cops were photographing her injuries to add to their collection. “Hey! You aren’t with forensics!” she yelled.

“Uh, no, I’m, uh, his backup,” one of them told her.

“You take another picture, and I’m going to back up your butt with my nightstick,” she told one of them.

“You promise?”

“Come on, babe, how about a big smile?” one cop said.

“How about I give a 40 caliber enema?” she told that one.

After Ravenal went under, the doc held a confab. One suggested sewing two marbles in and telling him they had drawn up and now dropped.

“Bunk! If we put a couple of stainless steel ball bearings, he might go for it. If not, let’s show him how to adjust his drip,” another suggested.

“Where are we going to get ball bearings? It’s not like they’re gong to find that dog.” an intern asked.

“Son, have you ever heard of hardware stores? Have you ever heard of the low man on the totem pole? That would be you,” a surgeon replied.

“God, I hate dogs! I hate cops. I hate surgeons most of all, the bastards,” the young doctor thought as he left

The saddest thing is that things never change.

Always remember you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else- Margaret Mead

It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance -Thomas Sowell

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month- Theodore Roosevelt

"If fake was a crime, a lot of people would stay locked up." - Justine Skye

In the inner city, cops and robbers is for real.

If you’re a young black dude from the hood you want to come through the hood in a car that makes a lot of noise." - Lil Baby