The Wateringhole

The watering hole was sort of neutral territory. Since all the creatures needed water, and this was the only one around for miles, it was agreed that no hunting was to be allowed here. The prey would move to another spot if they were going to be attacked. Then the predators would have to move. Then the prey would move again and it would be a vicious circle. Of course, the chain already was but the animals didn’t know that.

The hyenas were slurping water down at the far end of the hole. They weren’t allowed upwind. The rhinos enforced this rule. The last hyena that came upwind was stomped into jelly by Large Lonnie, a short-tempered two-ton beast. The other hyenas screeched and hollered but that’s about all they did. They didn’t challenge the rhino that’s for sure. The lions laughed out loud at them. The hyena was no hunter. The hyena was a leech; a thief; a coward. The lions made certain that the rhinos knew they were laughing at the hyenas and not them. The lion was brave, not stupid.

The elephants were playing around, making a racket, messing up the water as well as messing in the water. They went wherever they pleased. They had since the day Big Mama sat on a couple of rhinos. Those rhinos never walked right again. Even the hyenas weren’t afraid of those rhinos. The lions were a bit leery though. Leaping Leo jumped on one of the limping rhinos and was clawing away at him. The old boy noticed the lion the way he’d notice a flea. Eventually, he did tire of the lion and reached back and swatted Leo a good one. Leo sees two of everything these days.

The zebras had to put up with a lot of nonsense. Some of the animals called them striped horses. Horses! What an insulting thing to call them. A horse was a beaten-down creature that was a virtual slave to man. Granted, few horses get eaten by lions but still. At the watering hole some of the lions teased them. Can I have a ride? Why, the zebras would dearly love to kick a few of them where it really hurts but that’s not allowed here. All those humans ever see is the lion bringing down a zebra. They never see the crippled, sterile lions crawling away after losing a fight. Oh no, never see that!

The snakes were very quiet. Even here at the watering hole they didn’t make much of a fuss. Even here they were hated. They didn’t say much. Having no vocal cords, they couldn’t. Didn’t hear much having no eardrums. Just as well. All they would have heard was insults. Being called legless lizards and overgrown worms. Many was the time a snake was accidentally stepped on by a rhino or, worse yet, an elephant. Oh, excuse me, I didn’t see you there, snake. Uh, huh.

The creature everyone liked was the monkey. The monkey didn’t always drink from the hole. He was a tree creature and had other sources of water. He was loved for his good nature and sense of humor. He made the other animals laugh. Even the lion. Even the rhino, who hated to laugh. There was a time when the monkeys were run off when they came to the hole. Then their bigger cousins, the apes, came down and straightened everyone out. They were quicker and stronger than the lion. They were smarter and quicker than the rhino. The elephant couldn’t react fast enough to flick them off. The monkeys didn’t get bothered much after that.

Crocodiles had a special problem. They lived in the water. They stored their food there. They got their food by sneaking up on their prey in the water. Well, they weren’t going to do any sneaking up on an elephant. They weren’t going to sneak up on a rhino and go and get them pissed off. They might, just might, be able to do in a lion. Maybe yes, maybe no. But the deal was, no hunting at the hole. Except for the hyena. Hyena? Rather eat dirt than a hyena. No, just have to wait on the occasional drowning. Maybe help out in the drowning. A bit, not too obvious. Not if a rhino was looking.

Giraffes could stand out in the savannah and still drink. SDince they were out ther they were prey. So, the hung around the watering hole Being bored.Rules are rules.

The Plover birds kept the croc's teeth clean Therefore the croc can look harmless. One time, the croc sneezed and closed his mouth killing a plover. They refused to clean the croc's teeth ever again. The older crocs had very few teeth. They scared no one.

Birds did as they pleased. Great friends of the rhinos, they were able to strut around as if they owned the place. The rhinos loved them because they cleaned their teeth for them. Sort of a rhino dentist. They were immune from attack, mostly because who wanted to eat them after they’d been in a rhino’s mouth? Even the hyena gagged at that thought. A few of the birds got injured when a rhino coughed and shot them halfway to Nairobi.

The rainy season was the best for the animals. There was enough water for all the animals. There was no shoving or fussing around. The elephants could have a ball squirting each other with water. They could also squirt the rhinos, who loved it. They could also squirt the hyenas, who hated it but didn’t say much about it. They didn’t want one of the elephants to decide to roll around in the mud. They didn’t want an elephant to roll around in the mud that the hyenas were in.

The rhinos could submerge and play under the water. They liked to sneak up on some unsuspecting animal getting a drink and suddenly surface and grunt. Scared the blazes out of the victim. That’s great rhino humor. The croc's had to be very careful not to get stepped on. A rhino would only step on a croc once. Once was more than enough.

The dry season was bad for all concerned. Everyone had to wait their turn and everyone got a little bit testy. The elephants would scream, the rhinos would grunt, the lions would roar, the monkeys would screech, the hyenas would... would stay very quiet so as not to irritate anyone. There is no reason to call them laughing hyenas. They really don’t laugh that much nor do they have any reason to.

The Wateringhole is the Club Med of the African Plain.